Phil: I know that me being sick has been really hard for both of us. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When my time comes, I don’t want CPR—or a breathing machine.

Ann: Really!? But—if something happened, I would have to ask the doctors to at least try to keep you alive. Is that selfish of me?

Phil: I know if I become too sick to talk for myself, making medical decisions for me would be very hard on you. That’s why, if you have to make decisions for me, I want you to have total flexibility to work with the doctors and use your best judgment.

Ann: Wait...but you said—

Phil: I—I know. What I mean is, I want you to use my wishes as a general guide. I want you to honor them as best you can, but you don’t have to follow them exactly if that is what you and the doctors think is best at that time. Does that make sense?

Ann: You would prefer it if I follow your wishes, but it’s also OK for me to change your decisions, like asking the doctors to try a breathing machine for a while, if that’s what I think I need to do. Is that what you mean?

Phil: Yes. I give you total flexibility.

Cynthia: I've been thinking about the medical decisions you may need to make for me if I can’t make them myself.

James: Mm. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Cynthia: Well, it’s hard to know what the future might bring. That’s why I want you to have some flexibility to use my medical wishes as a general guide. I want you to know that it is OK for you to work with my doctors to make the best decisions that you can at that time.

James: That makes sense.

Cynthia: I mean, some decisions may come up for you that we never talked about. But!

James: But what?

Cynthia: There is one decision that I never want you to change, no matter what!

James: Tell me.

Cynthia: If I get Alzheimer’s disease, like my mom—when my memory is gone, I can’t remember my family anymore, and I can’t feed myself—please don’t let them give me a feeding tube. I don’t want to live like that.

James: I know that time with your mom was tough.

Cynthia: Yes, it was. So if my body is shutting down and I stop eating, please let me die naturally, like Mom did when we finally took out the feeding tube. Does that make sense?

James: Yes. You are giving me some flexibility to make medical decisions for you.

Cynthia: That’s right. Thank you.

Linda: My doctor asked me about how much flexibility I wanted to give you if you ever needed to make medical decisions for me. You know, about my lung problems.

Rita: OK, Mom. So...what do you mean by flexibility, exactly?

Linda: Well, I’ve been living with this breathing problem for a long time and it has really worn me down. I was on that breathing machine before, and it just made me weaker.

Rita: I know.

Linda: So I’m done—I don’t ever want to be on one of those machines again.

Rita: This is really hard to hear, but, I can understand—

Linda: And—I don’t ever want to go back to the hospital, either! A breathing mask and oxygen at home are OK to keep me comfortable. But, when it’s my time, it’s my time. I want a natural death with hospice care. At home. That’s what I want. That’s my decision.

Rita: But...but what if you can’t speak for yourself? Are you saying that I could never change these decisions?

Linda: Rita, I want you to honor my wishes and never change these decisions. So do you understand what I want?

Rita: Yes, mom. You don’t want to go back to the hospital and you don’t want to be put on a breathing machine.

Linda: That’s what I mean by no flexibility. Thank you, sweetheart.

Cynthia: I've been thinking about the medical decisions you may need to make for me if I can’t make them myself.

James: Mm. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Cynthia: Well, it’s hard to know what the future might bring. That’s why I want you to have some flexibility to use my medical wishes as a general guide. I want you to know that it is OK for you to work with my doctors to make the best decisions that you can at that time.

James: That makes sense.

Cynthia: I mean, some decisions may come up for you that we never talked about. But!

James: But what?

Cynthia: There is one decision that I never want you to change, no matter what!

James: Tell me.

Cynthia: If I get Alzheimer’s disease, like my mom—when my memory is gone, I can’t remember my family anymore, and I can’t feed myself—please don’t let them give me a feeding tube. I don’t want to live like that.

James: I know that time with your mom was tough.

Cynthia: Yes, it was. So if my body is shutting down and I stop eating, please let me die naturally, like Mom did when we finally took out the feeding tube. Does that make sense?

James: Yes. You are giving me some flexibility to make medical decisions for you.

Cynthia: That’s right. Thank you.

Phil: I know that me being sick has been really hard for both of us. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When my time comes, I don’t want CPR—or a breathing machine.

Ann: Really!? But—if something happened, I would have to ask the doctors to at least try to keep you alive. Is that selfish of me?

Phil: I know if I become too sick to talk for myself, making medical decisions for me would be very hard on you. That’s why, if you have to make decisions for me, I want you to have total flexibility to work with the doctors and use your best judgment.

Ann: Wait...but you said—

Phil: I—I know. What I mean is, I want you to use my wishes as a general guide. I want you to honor them as best you can, but you don’t have to follow them exactly if that is what you and the doctors think is best at that time. Does that make sense?

Ann: You would prefer it if I follow your wishes, but it’s also OK for me to change your decisions, like asking the doctors to try a breathing machine for a while, if that’s what I think I need to do. Is that what you mean?

Phil: Yes. I give you total flexibility.

Linda: My doctor asked me about how much flexibility I wanted to give you if you ever needed to make medical decisions for me. You know, about my lung problems.

Rita: OK, Mom. So...what do you mean by flexibility, exactly?

Linda: Well, I’ve been living with this breathing problem for a long time and it has really worn me down. I was on that breathing machine before, and it just made me weaker.

Rita: I know.

Linda: So I’m done—I don’t ever want to be on one of those machines again.

Rita: This is really hard to hear, but, I can understand—

Linda: And—I don’t ever want to go back to the hospital, either! A breathing mask and oxygen at home are OK to keep me comfortable. But, when it’s my time, it’s my time. I want a natural death with hospice care. At home. That’s what I want. That’s my decision.

Rita: But...but what if you can’t speak for yourself? Are you saying that I could never change these decisions?

Linda: Rita, I want you to honor my wishes and never change these decisions. So do you understand what I want?

Rita: Yes, mom. You don’t want to go back to the hospital and you don’t want to be put on a breathing machine.

Linda: That’s what I mean by no flexibility. Thank you, sweetheart.

Linda: My doctor asked me about how much flexibility I wanted to give you if you ever needed to make medical decisions for me. You know, about my lung problems.

Rita: OK, Mom. So...what do you mean by flexibility, exactly?

Linda: Well, I’ve been living with this breathing problem for a long time and it has really worn me down. I was on that breathing machine before, and it just made me weaker.

Rita: I know.

Linda: So I’m done—I don’t ever want to be on one of those machines again.

Rita: This is really hard to hear, but, I can understand—

Linda: And—I don’t ever want to go back to the hospital, either! A breathing mask and oxygen at home are OK to keep me comfortable. But, when it’s my time, it’s my time. I want a natural death with hospice care. At home. That’s what I want. That’s my decision.

Rita: But...but what if you can’t speak for yourself? Are you saying that I could never change these decisions?

Linda: Rita, I want you to honor my wishes and never change these decisions. So do you understand what I want?

Rita: Yes, mom. You don’t want to go back to the hospital and you don’t want to be put on a breathing machine.

Linda: That’s what I mean by no flexibility. Thank you, sweetheart.

Phil: I know that me being sick has been really hard for both of us. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When my time comes, I don’t want CPR—or a breathing machine.

Ann: Really!? But—if something happened, I would have to ask the doctors to at least try to keep you alive. Is that selfish of me?

Phil: I know if I become too sick to talk for myself, making medical decisions for me would be very hard on you. That’s why, if you have to make decisions for me, I want you to have total flexibility to work with the doctors and use your best judgment.

Ann: Wait...but you said—

Phil: I—I know. What I mean is, I want you to use my wishes as a general guide. I want you to honor them as best you can, but you don’t have to follow them exactly if that is what you and the doctors think is best at that time. Does that make sense?

Ann: You would prefer it if I follow your wishes, but it’s also OK for me to change your decisions, like asking the doctors to try a breathing machine for a while, if that’s what I think I need to do. Is that what you mean?

Phil: Yes. I give you total flexibility.

Cynthia: I've been thinking about the medical decisions you may need to make for me if I can’t make them myself.

James: Mm. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Cynthia: Well, it’s hard to know what the future might bring. That’s why I want you to have some flexibility to use my medical wishes as a general guide. I want you to know that it is OK for you to work with my doctors to make the best decisions that you can at that time.

James: That makes sense.

Cynthia: I mean, some decisions may come up for you that we never talked about. But!

James: But what?

Cynthia: There is one decision that I never want you to change, no matter what!

James: Tell me.

Cynthia: If I get Alzheimer’s disease, like my mom—when my memory is gone, I can’t remember my family anymore, and I can’t feed myself—please don’t let them give me a feeding tube. I don’t want to live like that.

James: I know that time with your mom was tough.

Cynthia: Yes, it was. So if my body is shutting down and I stop eating, please let me die naturally, like Mom did when we finally took out the feeding tube. Does that make sense?

James: Yes. You are giving me some flexibility to make medical decisions for you.

Cynthia: That’s right. Thank you.

Phil: I know that me being sick has been really hard for both of us. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When my time comes, I don’t want CPR—or a breathing machine.

Ann: Really!? But—if something happened, I would have to ask the doctors to at least try to keep you alive. Is that selfish of me?

Phil: I know if I become too sick to talk for myself, making medical decisions for me would be very hard on you. That’s why, if you have to make decisions for me, I want you to have total flexibility to work with the doctors and use your best judgment.

Ann: Wait...but you said—

Phil: I—I know. What I mean is, I want you to use my wishes as a general guide. I want you to honor them as best you can, but you don’t have to follow them exactly if that is what you and the doctors think is best at that time. Does that make sense?

Ann: You would prefer it if I follow your wishes, but it’s also OK for me to change your decisions, like asking the doctors to try a breathing machine for a while, if that’s what I think I need to do. Is that what you mean?

Phil: Yes. I give you total flexibility.

Cynthia: I've been thinking about the medical decisions you may need to make for me if I can’t make them myself.

James: Mm. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Cynthia: Well, it’s hard to know what the future might bring. That’s why I want you to have some flexibility to use my medical wishes as a general guide. I want you to know that it is OK for you to work with my doctors to make the best decisions that you can at that time.

James: That makes sense.

Cynthia: I mean, some decisions may come up for you that we never talked about. But!

James: But what?

Cynthia: There is one decision that I never want you to change, no matter what!

James: Tell me.

Cynthia: If I get Alzheimer’s disease, like my mom—when my memory is gone, I can’t remember my family anymore, and I can’t feed myself—please don’t let them give me a feeding tube. I don’t want to live like that.

James: I know that time with your mom was tough.

Cynthia: Yes, it was. So if my body is shutting down and I stop eating, please let me die naturally, like Mom did when we finally took out the feeding tube. Does that make sense?

James: Yes. You are giving me some flexibility to make medical decisions for you.

Cynthia: That’s right. Thank you.

Linda: My doctor asked me about how much flexibility I wanted to give you if you ever needed to make medical decisions for me. You know, about my lung problems.

Rita: OK, Mom. So...what do you mean by flexibility, exactly?

Linda: Well, I’ve been living with this breathing problem for a long time and it has really worn me down. I was on that breathing machine before, and it just made me weaker.

Rita: I know.

Linda: So I’m done—I don’t ever want to be on one of those machines again.

Rita: This is really hard to hear, but, I can understand—

Linda: And—I don’t ever want to go back to the hospital, either! A breathing mask and oxygen at home are OK to keep me comfortable. But, when it’s my time, it’s my time. I want a natural death with hospice care. At home. That’s what I want. That’s my decision.

Rita: But...but what if you can’t speak for yourself? Are you saying that I could never change these decisions?

Linda: Rita, I want you to honor my wishes and never change these decisions. So do you understand what I want?

Rita: Yes, mom. You don’t want to go back to the hospital and you don’t want to be put on a breathing machine.

Linda: That’s what I mean by no flexibility. Thank you, sweetheart.

Phil: I know that me being sick has been really hard for both of us. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When my time comes, I don’t want CPR—or a breathing machine.

Ann: Really!? But—if something happened, I would have to ask the doctors to at least try to keep you alive. Is that selfish of me?

Phil: I know if I become too sick to talk for myself, making medical decisions for me would be very hard on you. That’s why, if you have to make decisions for me, I want you to have total flexibility to work with the doctors and use your best judgment.

Ann: Wait...but you said—

Phil: I—I know. What I mean is, I want you to use my wishes as a general guide. I want you to honor them as best you can, but you don’t have to follow them exactly if that is what you and the doctors think is best at that time. Does that make sense?

Ann: You would prefer it if I follow your wishes, but it’s also OK for me to change your decisions, like asking the doctors to try a breathing machine for a while, if that’s what I think I need to do. Is that what you mean?

Phil: Yes. I give you total flexibility.

Cynthia: I've been thinking about the medical decisions you may need to make for me if I can’t make them myself.

James: Mm. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Cynthia: Well, it’s hard to know what the future might bring. That’s why I want you to have some flexibility to use my medical wishes as a general guide. I want you to know that it is OK for you to work with my doctors to make the best decisions that you can at that time.

James: That makes sense.

Cynthia: I mean, some decisions may come up for you that we never talked about. But!

James: But what?

Cynthia: There is one decision that I never want you to change, no matter what!

James: Tell me.

Cynthia: If I get Alzheimer’s disease, like my mom—when my memory is gone, I can’t remember my family anymore, and I can’t feed myself—please don’t let them give me a feeding tube. I don’t want to live like that.

James: I know that time with your mom was tough.

Cynthia: Yes, it was. So if my body is shutting down and I stop eating, please let me die naturally, like Mom did when we finally took out the feeding tube. Does that make sense?

James: Yes. You are giving me some flexibility to make medical decisions for you.

Cynthia: That’s right. Thank you.

Linda: My doctor asked me about how much flexibility I wanted to give you if you ever needed to make medical decisions for me. You know, about my lung problems.

Rita: OK, Mom. So...what do you mean by flexibility, exactly?

Linda: Well, I’ve been living with this breathing problem for a long time and it has really worn me down. I was on that breathing machine before, and it just made me weaker.

Rita: I know.

Linda: So I’m done—I don’t ever want to be on one of those machines again.

Rita: This is really hard to hear, but, I can understand—

Linda: And—I don’t ever want to go back to the hospital, either! A breathing mask and oxygen at home are OK to keep me comfortable. But, when it’s my time, it’s my time. I want a natural death with hospice care. At home. That’s what I want. That’s my decision.

Rita: But...but what if you can’t speak for yourself? Are you saying that I could never change these decisions?

Linda: Rita, I want you to honor my wishes and never change these decisions. So do you understand what I want?

Rita: Yes, mom. You don’t want to go back to the hospital and you don’t want to be put on a breathing machine.

Linda: That’s what I mean by no flexibility. Thank you, sweetheart.